From a female LIB reader
I just turned 25 year old two days ago. And as usual my mum will call me
up and pray for me and tell me how old I am and that means that I
need to get married.
Growing up, I have always thought I'll find the perfect Soul mate that would always love me. But as I have grown older, I've come to realize that it will never happen. There is no man that
will not end up cheating on you or in some case, exhibit domestic
violence. I have seen a lot of families go through either or both. I dont
think I envy my friends getting married. I'm beginning to doubt if I should
get married at all. Is it necessary? I know we are in Nigeria and this
is frowned upon but I need sincere answers. Is marriage worth it?
Oh I think it is. Very much so. I don't think you should stay married if you're miserable...but you must try it....at least once in your life time. What do y'all think?
208 comments:
1 – 200 of 208 Newer› Newest»Yes it worth it.
Hmmmmm over to the married ones in the house.
Actually marriage is worth it, even though there are bad marriages, there are also good marriages
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better be happy alone than to be married and miserable.be open to the idea of marriage and finding a love that will last thru the ages but dont think ur happiness is tied to the institution.
No, remain single. Ewu
its not
10 Types Of Men That Would Make A Womans's Life Hell ( Every woman should see these )
I Think you Should get married.... if the guy is abusive, you could backout!
I seriously think is worth.... No one is perfect my dear. U just have to get down on your knees and pray. And God will grant u ur heart desire.....
i agree with you linda! its worth it,but dont stay in it if you are unhappy!
Marriage is worth it,if u are married to the right person,u just have to find your soul mate,if u marry the wrong person,it will be miserable.
Sisi Linda r u trying to ask us this QST indirectly...... Marriage is Nt a easy tinz ,sometym I just wish there is no marriage no one to boss u around and stuff like that.
There are a million n one reasons why u shud get married my dear sister. Marriage gives u a sense of togetherness, it gives u hope for d future (children), marriage make u appear responsible to others, it create room for u to fulfill d promise n vision of God for ur life, etc. Pls, look past things happening around u and pray to God to give u a man dat will luv n cherish u. Dat is my own prayer too and i'm not afraid to go into a long lasting union. Bless u!
Sisi Linda r u trying to ask us this QST indirectly...... Marriage is Nt a easy tinz ,sometym I just wish there is no marriage no one to boss u around and stuff like that.
Marriage isn't compulsory but is important.This your story will soon change when you meet that special someone who luvs you free like a wildfire,crazy like the moon,always like tomorrow,sudden like an inhale and overcoming like tides.Very soon!
I share d same tots wit d young lady! @tyms I wonder if marriage is rily dat worth it! Based on d examples I c around me! Bt, bin in Nigeria....
My opinion. You must not get married. But don't flirt even as you remain single. Single here should mean SINGLE; no flirting, because if eventually you fall into the hand of a man who will cheat on you, I'm sorry to say, You end up going back to the stage one primary reason for your misery. Of course you know what that means.
Datz d main reason y we're on earth...2 live a life 2 please our creator and also 2 "Multiply".. put God 1st.
Linda you said it all. Marriage is not easy and takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice but when you're with the right person it's a real bliss. Even though i wont advice anyone to remain in an abusive marriage it's still worth a try.
Young not too young, marriage is for mature minds #bright bravo#
Hello Guys, I dont know abt you guys, but to me, i Know i wont get married cus i dont beleive in marraige, but i beleive u can find someone on the same wave length and stay commited to each other n raise a fammily.. that aint marriage, the whole marriage procedures n ethic are way too cliche and opaque. Based on the numerous stories n experiences i have had with friends dat got married n still divorce three years later. the whole legal aspect of it all is wat i dnt fancy.. on the flip side, i ebelieve if u are in a good relationship like i am for the last 18years with dis particular girl everything goes well. but d moment we decide to marry, i think dats wen trouble will begin.. cus from research, i know majority of those married aint happy in their marriages n dey cant opt out cus dey signd an agreement of some sort way back.. my reasons are, By living with a girlfriend, they can enjoy all the benefits of a wife without having to say, "I do." This is a no-risk way to test the idea of marriage.i want to avoid the financial risks of divorce. What better way to do that than to not get married in the first place? lastly but not d least.. the moment ur married, the husband becomes proud n arrogant n d wife too ll feel she has arrived and be feeling she owns everything n can do anything.. anyway, i know d bible says we should all get married n all, but society, family n friends has made marriage look like its a must for everone.. i know some of you will insult me n shii.. but see ehn. i dont care my opinion is mine and my chioce. i am the Future!!!
My dear marriage is so worth it .even da bible said a woman must leave da family n join a man such DAT dey become husband n wife.I know DAT most gals in marriages now are miserable but u just HV to be married cos mi tink without marriage ur life wouldn't be fulfilled
My dear, marriage is not what makes you (though it completes you)- you don't have to get married if you are not interested- simply stand up and let your people know that or else you will face all sort of pressures.
i think you should try it out unless you want to be a reverend sister, which will be good but staying single and just having sex with men is wrong. even the bible encourage us to get married if we can not abstain.
Some pple self 25yrs aunt try marry u done they old. Women dey also cheat, life is never complete na person born u try multiple as d bible say no just born bastard. This women empowerment and liberation is killing this generation
itz worth trying my dear. pray nd observe the guy well b4 u go into it. If it turns out well-good, if it doesn't, never stay in an abusive relationship/marriage.
Marriage is mainly 4 companionship & procreation as far as I kn . Get married anywy 4d sake of it but do it with som1 u luv. Most men are liable to cheat but dat's not enf reason nt to get married. Its like you sayin I wont go to sch bcoz I ve heard dat teachers do flog. You shud ask urslf - is it all teachers dat flog? Take ur time girl, fall in love and get married. But make sure u pray to God 4a good heart dat wil luv u!
Oh YES!! for pikins sake!!... and if u wan turn Rev Sis!!.......fogerrit!!
Marriage is worth it..... its necesaary but its not compulsory....... take ur time to decide
Babe, am a guy and i feel the way you feel. Am a man who have equally try to be kind to every woman i come in contact with not doing all those days men do that label us evil but it appears women will always take you for granted if you are a good man. Maybe its cool to be bad? maybe.......Thinking
This is where faith in God comes in. Marriage is worth is in every sense if you are close enough to God to let him chose for you.
Please be corrected, not all men cheat or beat their wives. I've been married for 12yrs and its been bliss.
Focus your attention on God and let him be the lead.
HE instituted marriage.
No its no big deal.
Stay single. Ode.
Linda ! Marriage is very swt dat is if u find ur rite partner, am a livin testmony, am nt saying dat we ar too perfect bt aleast ma husband is ma most man, in d other hand no age is too old to get married. Noted. Linda keep been gud, congt on ur new car.
Marriage is worth it and more,just pray for the right person.
Even those feminist claiming not interested,deep down they wish they could get married.
Being single on the other hand has never proved the main source of happiness.
Don't be afraid dear,just be optimistic.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
That poster said my mind and funny thing is dt we are agemates..... Dear girl it all depends on what makes you happy, whether it is "marriage/wedding", most pple rily can't differentiate d two... .. I find it sickening to be married and be cheated on and mosttyms even aware who ur husbnd is cheating with , daz 'stupid'!!! What's now the essence of "companionship"/of ur vows"?? Everybody has a limit dt dy can take, u v been cheating with ur wife with everytn under d skirt and she has been patient with your philandering penis hoping you would change- she is human... She might enter the survival mode oneday and start cheating on you with your drycleaner/ur barber/ur newspaper vendor/ur gateman/ur junior brother/ur friend..... Is so annoyin dt d society propagates and support infidelity from men, squeaze ursef in a womans shoe and see how dt feels lyk- you won't find your tricks funny when you do....#cheEzyjayne
Generalization is not good my dear, any woman who plans to marry a great man most prepare herself to be a great woman.secondly the scripture made it clear about marriage, you are deeply hurt from your previous relationship, better forget about your past and face the future sometimes you are what u choose.
I agree with Linda, you shouldn't have an opinion about something you have never tried. And if all you meet are cheating and violent guys then I think you and your mother should pray harder for God to show you a good man! Marriage is not for everyone but you won't know if you don't try.
It's not. Try white guys. They live differently. I told God what I want and He gave it to me. Sweetest french guy ever
Sometimes I feel guilty for being so lucky. But I am grateful.
You don't need to put that in your mind either he hus cheating or not, get married and see the joy in it, tho marriage us for better for worst
We in the African shores think too deep or regard marriage so much,clinging to the believe that its our culture
The Xtians will argue that's its biblical to do so,that its a sacred union and legitimate way to reproduce
Everybody have their opinion blah blah blah
I've sEen things,heard things marriage aint that glamorous as ppl make it to be
1/3 of marriages is broken and unhappy
To me its a choice,what can marriage probably offer me?
Heartaches,drama,joy,sadness,happiness,sense of belonging,a family etc
Been unmarried can get u most of these things,all you have to do is search and look deep
If your financial state is blue and green,why the heck not stay unmarried
Live life to the fullest without undue added pressure from been married
Hey,y'all shouldn't come for ma head,lily plz tell 'em
Its just ma opinion,you have got right to air yours
.....SƖεεkz
linlin.its like someone will propose to u tommoro
Lindiway....stop being an hypocrite and listen to ur dad and just try it..same to u@announcer...
I
From your statement, I can see u have made up your mind on certain things & I wouldn't want to convince u.
Everything in life is a risk. U feed up your mind with negativity, wrong thought & will go long way in your life even when u are married. Fill your mind with positivity & u will surely find one. We(male) are human, both sex ain't completely either. We all have lapses
BORN TO SHINE!!!
Don't put that in your mind get married and see the happiness in marriage wish you all the best
You don't need to put that in your mind either he hus cheating or not, get married and see the joy in it, tho marriage us for better for worst
yes its worth it. but since you dont feel it please dont get into it. simple
What about women who cheat in their marriage? Just asking
Daniel says so
My question is, dat ur boyfriend dat u re dating his he faithful? My dear is gud 2 marry 4 luv buh my advice is don't be so desperate if a man comes dat u luv and his okay marry,wats important is u and d children you ll av wit him. Dere's no prince charming eniwhere and no 1 wants 2 grow old alone. Beta married dan cohabiting.
I pray you find the right man. Your perception will definitely change. Live and let God.
Hmmm marriage isn't worth it to some but marriage is worth it and infact a very beautiful thing to others. All i can say is prayers is the key to gef that perfect home.
It may not seem important now but eventually ur going to want to av kids nd ull want a comfortable home for them
Getting married is a good thing, but getting married to a man that fears God is better. When a man loves God (am not talking abt church goers here) he will stay true to his marriage vows.
Nice comment Linda.... you must give it a try first... you never know, it might be the happiest decision in your life...
Its not worth it my dear.jst try your best to be successful in life and men will be under your command.its not a must to get married.as long as you are ok,u don't need a man in ur life.men will always be dsame.they are polygamous in nature and we ladies shld understnd dat.if you don't want to distrb urslf,u better don't even try it.dat doesn't mean you won't give birth sha.u can look for a cool responsible exbf of urs to impregnate you or adopt abi.men are not useful jare.I don't know dere koko in dis life gan.they are jst dere sha.as for me oooo,no guys can control me or tell me wat to do or wat not to do bcos am also a leader
Linda baby, why do you earn higher than nairaland seun boy? I wonder oh
Do not get married! Pls stay clear off it....its not worth it either...lol
Not everyone gets that lucky, but, people do meet their soul mates.....thats a fact!!! so dont throw in the towel yet....
I dnt think its miserable as u say... Pray about it.. One more thing u nid to b able to do is to tolerate.. If u can tolerate him den u will understand his type.. Vivian E
OMD... same I just turned 25 recently, my family don't put pressure on me but my friends do. I'm beginning to think they want us to be in the same sinking ship...
I get chased by all types of men. The married ones are the ones that have me worried. They actively make it their life obsession to commit adultery. And I hear they most of the time don't use protection. Now married women too are sleeping g around a lot. For contracts for whatever. What's the point?
My dear good men who can love u dearly still exist,just be positive. 180yroldvirgin
My dear pray to God and let him direct your thoughts don't jump into concusions yet. You re stil young dn't let your experiences discourage you, there re still good guys out there
It all depends on what u believe in, to me am happy in my marriage. There is no perfect marriage on this planet called earth, cos the man ua going to marry is from a different background while ua nurtured from a different one. The way marriage works to my own understanding is to work through it. There are lots of weakness in every individual, don't look at their weakness depend solely on their strength and assist them in their weakness not condemning them. Men cheat women cheat too. In rating it with the little data i have gathered i will say men cheat more not withstanding many men don't cheat. we ladies need to help our men by living up to expectation. Well to the question u asked i will say " marriage worth it if u get the right man" a tree cannot make a forest definitely in one way or the other u will still need a man in ur life. Try and erase that mentality that all men cheat and abuse their wives, not all men. Though my prayers for you is that u will definitely find a man that will love u, adore u and cherish cos am enjoying mine. Have a great day. by dobis112@gmail.com
Bounyce and Chimamanda Song
its up to you to rush into it and rush out
marriage is not an accomplishment,wen u get DAT into Ur head d easier for you
Wendy...
Me. I no kw oooh,HBD in advance Linda
Marriage is worth giving a try. No man is an island,you ll always need a companion,confidant,a lover,and one to be a real father to ur kids. True 80percent of men can be unfaithful from time to time,but women too are,it all depends on the value u place on ur marriage and d respect u have for each other,and the determination to make ur marriage work. My own 3 rules to be happy in marriage(1)put God first (2) know ur husband's mumu button(3)be a supportive wife.
Mercy&grace
Linda Ikeji,point of correction;'U̶̲̥̅̊ DON'T TRY MARRIAGE'! It's a divine order! Actually there are psychological reasons why some guys don't wanna go into marriage,it depends on d gravity of this .This life is all about "good and bad" and U̶̲̥̅̊ must taste both at d same time for U̶̲̥̅̊ to succeed in everything U̶̲̥̅̊ re involved in,including d so-called marriage.Am married and d experience has been so "sweet and mentally crazy" at d same time.Everybody has choices to make in life though.Above all b4 anything,ǤÕ̳͡D̶̲̥̅̊ first!
Definitely! It's worth it when the man and the woman are GOD FEARING. It takes two, and the presence of God. Marriage is God's institution and the Bible is the manual.
The question should be, is anything worth it?? For me u jst have to try. Life is all about taking chances. It might work out, it may not. But u definitely gonna learn from the experience. Not everyone who goes to school passes, nt all does who pass get a job, it's complicated.
my dear dis marriage tin na problem o I just clock 25 too 10 days ago nd have been thinking of it too it's well God will direct us by his grace.
IN NIGERIA WETHER IT IS WORTH IT OR NOT, JUST MARRY AND MANAGE. LOL
Yea marriage is worth it....Happily married
No 1 is saying u should get married n die dere but at least give a shot,besides marrige is a wonderful tin wen u found ur soulmate.wink# best of luck
It's good to get married bcos it's one of the event you will witness yourself.(1)When you are born you can't say abt it(2) when you will die you won't be there.
BEAUTIFUL THE ANSWER IS YES ITS REALLY WORTH IT.IRRESPECTIVE OF THE FACT THAT THE WOMAN POWER BUZZ IS EVERYWHERE.MEN STILL HAVE THEIR PLACE,WE ARE STRONGER THAN DUVETS ON COLD EVENINGS AND WE GOT UR BACK AT YOUR WEAK AND VULNERABLE MOMENTS.WHAT MATTERS IS GETTING A MAN WHO WOULD LOVE AND RESPECT U EVERY BIT OF THE WAY.I AM ONE OF THOSE MEN .ALTHOUGHH WE ARE SCARCE BUT WE EXIST FOR REAL AND I BELIEVE U WILL GET ONE
Marriage is not by force. You mustn't get married and its not something you should get into for the sake of just trying it. Once you are married you are married.
The men out there today are very useless. They are not worth the time of the day. Build a good path for yourself. If you're fortunate to find a good man who may cheat but, not often and who will make your journey with him worth the trouble, then good for you but, don't put all your hopes solely on marriage. If the young men of today we're to look at themselves well, even they wouldn't want to marry themselves. Awon indomie children.
My dear marriage is a blessing for every girl dat gets of age. No marriage is perfect, cos u aint perfect neither is d man. The most impt thing is maturity, understanding and tolerance. Den u will enjoy marriage. All d best dear.
Linda u must try it once in your life time?sounds like "Agony of a single lady"....Please so many marriages are still working, be the person you want to be with!
Hmmm! Same way I feel sometimes my dear! But I believe God wud help me! There's no harm in trying! We av lots of women enjoying their marriages! Nobody is perfect remembr. Always av dat in mind! Its gonna help u!
I disagree , Marriage isn't for everyone . Alotta people don't even know why they r married. Its certainly no crime to try it out its never a regret but an experience
its not worth it ojare!!!,der no love or happines in marriage,so wats d essence.no married woman on earth will tell u she has a perfect marriage.if u ar strong enuf to stay on ur own its better joor.
(In my mother's voice).....marriage is not friendship young girl. I know what u r passing through right now. Just like u rightly stated no man is perfect neither are u. 2 have d 'perfect' marriage that everyone admires and envies entails a lot compromise, patience and tolerance from both parties. 2 me, love is not d utmost but tolerance/ patience, d other naturally follows in a stable relationship. So don't be scared, get married when u find d one that can tolerate ur shortcomings and viceversa cos marriage is d best institution 2 rear children. Best of luck..........
Your thoughts are noble and you have a long way to go before you get married. At 25 you are still young to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage and family. I guess u don't want to get married "as of now", that's perfectly alright. But remember that if you want to be married at a later stage..your age factor will play a critical role. Keeping in mind that as a girl grows older and her biological clock keeps ticking away... sort out your priorities and work on it. Parents shouldn't force you into marriage. Marriage is an institution of love and commitment and it cant be forced.
All the best to you.
Sunshine.
dear, mothers will alwayz be mothers,. my advice to u is to take your time.. find the right man.. do not settle for someone u know will make u miserable all in d name of marriage... and if u never wna get married..that is fine to.. do not let anybody tell u that marriage is the be all and end all... because at the end of the day, they will not be there to collect the slap that one usless husband will give u...
Yea it does worth it, no matter the situation surrounding it, its a beaurifl thing, dou am nt married but sure knw is sweet, with God.
Marriage is worth every bit of it...because when two good heads come together u make things work well but it's a matter of choice if u want to be a celibate
Just bcos u see pple miserable,u wanna stay unmarried,okk ohh,go convert,I can personally link u to one
#######LIB MY BAD HABIT########
I know how you feel. I am 24 and I hear jiby jaba about marriage everyday. My last boyfriend hit and choked me at a wedding afterwards left me only to resurface two years later begging on hands and knees and even confessed on cheating on me sayin it was jst sex and nuttin else (if una dey read this fire burn ur yansh T!)
Anyways marriages around me to seem like they are not happy. You will see the groom jumping for joy on the wedding day only to start cheating 3 months after
People in nigeria see marriage as a degree. After graduation the next level is marriage. Even the females are brainwashed so far you don't have a career as long as you are married. It's an accomplishment
Having said that. I'm not ready for marriage right now. But I want to marry and when I do i will be with the right person
What you are seeing is people marrying for the wrong reasons and the wrong people, that's why they don't make u envy them. If you make the mistake of marrying the wrong guy you will regret it for the rest of your life
I pray that God will grant you a man after his own heart. A man that will bring out the best in you, a man that will prove all ur theories wrong. A man that will love you forever, treat you right and never cheat on you. Amen! Nuttyjessica@yahoo.com
Well I ask my self this question too
Linda, this goes a long way to show your maturity. There is nothing like trying marriage, you either do it or you dont do it. Dear poster, marriage is not compulsory, and no, all men do not cheat or are violent. Marriage is beautiful if you marry your friend, never settle for less no matter how long it takes. I believe its a woman's world, earth has no fury than the scorn of a woman, nothing can be compared to the strenght of a woman, you have the power to build the world you like. So girl, get up and bring out the woman in you.
Of course it is. Remember the saying 'never forbear sowing for fear of birds'. Because you hear of so many failed marriages doesn't mean it isn't worth it. I'm single and I patiently wait to meet a suitable life partner. The key is having a healthy self worth and be independent.*Nudge nudge, wink wink*
It is worth it.Forget the stories of neglect, cheating you hear about, it builds the intrigues in marriage
Same answer with Linda. But mk efforts to ensure its not miserable. Ça va?
yes...a 100 yes to it..marriage worth it.though there mite be challenges but believe me..challenges are bound in every other aspect..we should always focus on the positve..if you believe your marriages is gonna be a blessing,definately its gonna turn out a blessing...think positively,cos outta the heart the mouth speaketh and when you speak...you find yourself goin in the directions of your words..
Sure dear Marriage is worth it, in as much as 85%(Let me be lenient) of men cheat, trust me dere are still men dat I hv got so much respect 4 women. O YES THERE ARE!! But first u ain't old girl, u are 25 & dat ain't old, but hey if he finds u - Y not.
Note dis - Dere are so many ppl enjoying dere marriages while some are enduring. As far as I'm concerned Character/attitude/values/views about life,relatinship/respect 4d opposite sex are d primary qualities 2 look out 4 in man, all oda fins are secondary.
Allow urself love again, but dnt just jump in2 any relation, U really really need 2 kn him in & out. Happiness is key. I wish u da best!!!!
ITS WORTH IT
Your life your way...so dont ask stupid question
You must get married. ....that is our tradition!
Not all men cheat on their wives. I agree that most men cheat and some beat up their wives but it is wrong to conclude that every man cheats or batter their wives.
The problem is ppl get married to the wrong ppl. Their is always that one person that will truly love and value you but girls usually end up not accepting or dumping that one guy . Whether its karma , I don't know
Babe! Its Not Worth It O! I Don't Know Why In Nigeria Marriage is a Must! If You Don't Marry People Start Looking At You Like You Have Problems! Mean While They Are Not Happy In Their Own Homes O! I'd Rather Be Single All My Life And Be Happy and Content That To Marry To Save Face And Be Miserable All My Life. People Are Just Hypocrites! *ZooomsOff*
It's worth it, but it's not compulsory if you don't want to. Forget about what society thinks, your happiness comes first, and if you do feel you'll be be happier as an unmarried lady, go for it.
Trust me sister,it aint worth it..guys especially 9ja guys r full of shit..de dnt knw wot luv is or wot d word means
Marriage these days is 50/50, and many women do it just to show off or birth children. To u I'll say Follow ur heart, although it's in the left side, it's always right...
Marriage isnt for everybody hun.
I think marriages fail or are mostly endured because people get into it 4 all the wrong reasons! D key (I think) is to first find that happy place 4 u b4 u invite someone else to share it with u...but then again wetin I know, I still never marry like Linda (*winks*...u know I love u)
Marriage comes with ups and downs though not advisable to stay when it's hopeless but having watched people around me survive through their trying times.....i think it's worth giving a trial,dating is fun when you're young,beautiful and fun but have you ever thought about old age?
Geh Geh!!, Linda don buy 24Mill Jeep, and her mama don dey talk abt marriage, my advice is Linda, look for ur best friend, a guy that u feel u love naturally n U know He would love u back if u enter into a relationship with him, remove cheating from ur mind biko, thinking of it in d firstplace is wrong...... just marry ur friend and face ur hobby (blogging) you will b a complete lady that way
Keep searching,u will find a good man remember decency attracts decency in ur case I will advice u to get closer to men that re decent in nature and also learn to pray about ur problem.
what works for every other person might not work for you,you need to answer this question yourself.
Marriage is not all that,men will cheat n break you
u have to first of all change ur mind set. marriage is beautiful. just as there are bad marriages, there are good marriages. trust God and he'll bless u.. i look forward to getting married o.. Meeli
Well as its not marriage aint bed of roses.deir will always be issue even if u find ur soulmate.marriage is for d strong hearted.so it's up to u to marry or not.
Marriage is worth it, its just like life it self. Just try and pray to God to bless you with the right man and ensure that you are patient enough with your man satisfy his desires in all aspects try keeping your self attractive. also try your mans patience so much if he ever raises his hands or voice in any way then you can tell what will be in your marriage,except you want to deceive your self. woe to any man that will raise his hands or voice to his woman or lady. he does not deserve life.
A marriage can either make u or ruin u.. never be pressured to go into it... it's worth it depending on what unfolds inside of it.. life generally is a risky adventure.. it's 50-50.
My dear marriage dose not what it is not most everybody must get married.
As ur heart tinketh so shal it be.I wil never buy d Idea dt its natural 4 a man 2 cheat.If u ar determind nt 2 cheat u wont cheat.positive confesion maters girl
Yea marriage is worth it,if it works 4 u ,den u forge ahead n enjoy but if it does nt quit 2 avoid untimely death,it's a two way thing.
Linda i second ur opinion. Gbam
Do as ur spirit direct u.d thing is I can tolerate but u can't so we ar nt dsame both in understanding n wisdom n our perception can't be de same
No, its not worth it. Stay single and keep having kids of different fathers
I'm a guy. I have a wonderful wife. I love her to death but I have an 18 year old mistress.
I will never leave my wife for her and my wife doesn't know. I buy both of them stuff but my wife has times ten.
Polygamy is in the nature of man. Some men don't know how to have a mistress discretely but we all do.
That said you women are selfish. Man was made to be polygamous. You guys want what you cannot have. Tragic!
Yeah,marriage is worth tryin,,whn u giv ur slf a reasoneable tym,,and u mak a gud choice,nevr compare urcef wit sum1 els,wat is gud 4 A may not be gud 4 B,so,is al abt knwin wu u re n undrstndin wat u want,,u can't always judge wit d out view,,,av seen couples wu seems happy 2 d outsyd world,but,wen insyd,it sumtyn els n same 2 thos dat u felt dey re goin thru a lot..evn d bible says,dat d road dat is right is not always as pleasureable as d wrong road...Marriage is al abt endearance,perciverence n loving each othr,u don't nid 2 nag @ each othr,dats wen ur marriage get boring,al u nid is understndin..Marriage is a beautiful tyn..try it...AMA Testify...
Linda its 25 *years* not year.
marriage is worth it only if you marry for the right reasons. only then will you enjoy yourself most times we just have misplaced priorities and that affects us in the long run..my parents have been married for three decades n have the best marriage so marriage really is worth it..
try it but dont let it define you..it is not the solution to your happiness in life...God is.....from my experience
1) dont do long distance courtship.you will never truly know the true character of the guy...
2) pray about the kind of family he is from. a guy might be good but his mother might be a witch or very wicked...u can only know that in the place of prayer and intercession..this will save u the time of unneccesary spiritual battles...
3) pray and fast for God to give u direction. dont pray alone, if u are a christian ask your spiritual leader to pray with you...
4) when in the marriage u need loads of patience and you dont need to quarel about every little thing. lets some things go...
5) what u dont like dont tolerate from the beginning.
6) marriage is give and take...dont be a doormat and dont do to your spouse what u dont want done to you...
7) never be a liability, make your own money.
8) never tolerate abuse in any form, if it starts leave the scene and pray from there.....no marriage continues in heaven.....
my take from my 9 years experience....
Linda I think your advice is stupid. Women should only be allowed to leave if he beats her or cheats and rubs it in her face.
The fact that I hid it from you and you found out because you thinkbyoure James bond is your own damn business.
My dick belongs to me and I Fuck whomever I please.
I am married and I tell u marriage aint worth it or worth d stress. It requires hardwork and no matter what, men must still cheat. I have a daughter out of wedlock and if I had gotten her back early after my studies,I dont think marriage would have been my focus. My daughter would have just remained my center point. Its all good and your right in a marriage cheating or domestic violence would def occur one day. Marriage isnt worth it my sister.
Am a married woman there are days my husband annoy me so much that it takes the grace of God not to strangle him, but there r days I love him so much I want to choke , no relationship is perfect not even with your siblings or parents let to talk of a total stranger . Is actually worth it as long as the lAughs are bigger than the quarrel
Don't give in to the pressure of getting married, not every man out there is a cheater or prone to violence. To me 25 is still to young an age to give up on the institution of marriage. Yes there are lots of unhappy marriages out there but, there are happy ones too. And these happy ones takes a high level of commitment to keep it going. Like you, i have fallen in with the cheating crowd of men before but am happy to say i have found someone worthy of me. Still each day, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop because that has always been my relationship history. To answer your question, with the right man, marriage is beautiful. Hang in there, love will find you when you are ready.
Ladies desire sex d way men do.Its jst dt ladies respect demselves cos of tradition.If ladies can respect demselves so can d men if dey ar determined.I dnt bliv in d word'al men ar cheat cos God did nt say so.
Hmmmmm!, I see sperm banks becoming popular in this part of the world sooner than I thought.
My dear, just marry like others have done or the society will make your life miserable.
Yes dear poster, it's not a do or die affair though.. but just make up ur mind to give it a try..
For me, I don't see marriage as a must. All my friends are begining to be married one by one. I'm not bothered n honestly I feel no deep interest to get married soon. Its not a necessity if u ask me.
i for say e no worth but once is not bad for the experience, i swear marriage na "sweet prison" ...
Abeg help me tell am....girl u r jst bin paranoid. Comon shut up n try gettin married!!
If u ar determined 2 serve God in spirit n in truth u wount tink of teaching.God says evrybody must b tempted bt he wount alow d one we cnt overcom
MY DEAR, TYPICAL 9JA GIRL WILL TELL U ITS WORTH IT, IM A CHIC, IM 9JA, IM 33 AND I FEEL LIKE U DO, ITS NOT WORTH IT, TOO MUCH PAIN, DECEIT, SEE FINISH ETC. YOU DON'T HAVE TO, DONT LET ANYBODY TELL U OTHERWISE. ITS UR LIFE, LIVE IT AS U DEEM FIT AND COMFORTABLE FOR U. EVEN WHERE THERES NO VIOLENCE, THERES STILL A LOTTA BULLSHIT, AND IGBO PEOPLE WILL TELL THEIR FEMALES TO STAY AND TAKE THE BULLSHIT. RUBBISH, IVE SAID ENOUGH.
Ojugo, ojugoo mu aka.....
Mumu it's Believe!!!!!!!!! Not what u spelt..I know u wil blame it on autocorrect..lol! Idiot!!!!
Marriage is so worth it. Throw away all the ideas in your head that you've accumulated from "Mills & Boon" type sources and be ready to work. Those sources (in person or in print) are partly responsible for many girls not being married today because of false/fantasy expectations. Nobody is perfect. We all stumble (including you) and even fall. But if you stick to the sincere principles of "faith, hope and agape (sharing and caring) love, not love based on selfishness, infatuation and "butterflies in your tummy", then you've got a good start. Attraction nonetheless is very essential, but note there is positive attraction and negative attraction. As an adult you must judge your motive.
Test the man with genuine tests to know if he has a vision which you can be part of and practices what he stands for. Don't test him based on his current job, the number of midnight calls, recharge cards, birthday gifts, or dinner dates, all these shall pass. My wife doesn't expect these from me because the peace and joy we give each other (especially that which she gives me) is worth more than these. That doesn't mean I don't do them when I can. You will enjoy your marriage, don't fret.
I think dat marriage is worth it even though dat some people hv turned it into a battle field.
My dear sister,
I get your position completely. Im at the same stage in my life and i am honestly thinking to myself if marriage is worth it? When i was younger marriage seemed like a fairy tale and a prince charming will completely sweep you of your feet, yada yada... but the reality is sooo different.
Apart from cheating, as a woman your whole identity changes, your no longer ur own boss and depending on how long you've been single for, you are used to being your own boss.
Your name changes, your culture changes (if you marry someone from a different tribe), your association changes, social life changes, you leave your fathers house doing house girl and being controlled to another man's house to do house girl and restrict you and so on and this is for the normal and good marriages.
The bad marriages are plagued with infidelity, drunkeness, domestic violence, a man not being responsible for his wife and kids e.t.c.If God forbid you are in such a marriage and you leave, your status now changes to "divorcee" never back to being single and you are judged for that, or you stay and become very bitter.
No offence to married people but very few marriages you see are happy, they have just come to a place of accepting your fate.
So it is a valid question i ask my self every day, is it actually worth it to get married?
If you're at a point in your life where you have to ask about marriage's importance, you're not ready. Take your time. Everyone isn't meant to marry by the statistics alone, which show there is an overabundance of women to men. But if you're lucky enough to find someone who loves you without today's frequent complications (infidelity or abuse for ex.), go for it.
Gaan sleep jare, marriage no b by force, like ur parents dat gave birth to u are not worth it for u to try. all humans need companionship and its worth a try
Until you realise that no one can make you totally happy except you and that no one is perfect you will keep searching. My friend, marriage is beautiful!
Yes is good u give a trial first.Tochi
na wa o there must be something wrong with the mentality in naija, after reading over 50 comments that were more religious than personal, only 1 was a happy and personal reply, the girl dating a french man and saying she feels lucky to have him. That says a lot.
Marriage is beautiful if you marry the one man made for you. Someone who respects, and treats you like a queen (which indeed you are). But in Nigeria it seems that a married man can't never be faithful to his vows. The society plays a vital role to this. Where young girls would prefer to date married men because if material benefits. Not thinking that their own husbands would also end up cheating on them, (like they say what goes around comes around).
Marriage is more interesting if you are friends in the relationship than just begin Mr and Mrs. So dear, pray for the right person and you will enjoy very bit of your marital relationship.
Its really worth it, it is the best thing dat can happen to u when u understand ur man or woman it is a great experience.
Hahahahaha..u ave read enuf novels....come bk to life dear...all dese ur qualifications don't exist..it only happens for a shortwhile..nd den reality sets in..den u look for other reasons to stat married...
Yes marriage Is damn worth it....I know sometimes you just want to go against it because of the bad marriages you see around......but you never know How Good your marriage will be until you give it a shot....I Rep MOMENT WITH ZOE
Perfect answer - ''I don't think you should stay married if you're miserable...but you must try it....at least once in your life time''
Pray that God gives you a good man that you can share life experiences with. Make sure you are independent, hardworking and a wife material.See the proverbs 31 woman.she was well rounded.
Have u been married b4 Alloy?
I'm 22, i've been in 2 relationships and in both I gave my all and dey still cheated. I can't stand unfaithfulness and since that's d trend i'm not keen on marriage either.
Your advice is so dumb as fcuk
May God help you
Ok another fish head. AIDS is reall o
Marriage is only worth if you are married to the man who sincerely loves you......
Religion is the problem of marriage. I have been married for 13 years and I have concluded that if submission in religion is not misinterpreted as Slavery, may be marriage would worth all the many troubles. Please let all the fake and real pastors teach their congregations the right and correct bible interpretations. Submission is No SLAVERY as we they wrongly teach. Times are changing and women are taking over the many responsibilities of men and they still want to kill the women with too many task and demand. Let's get real and be truthful to ourselves, we are in the 21st century.
Watch it dear! There is so much power in the your tongue. Life itself is a risk just as marriage is also... marriage is a good risk worth taking; because it turned out sour for some people doesn't mean it will also turn out sour for u. Change ur mindset positively, create and rule ur world. Yay 1st to comment. Linda u better post my comment:-)
Marriage is a beautiful thing if both people are in it for the right reason. That being said, its not for everyone. There are people that will drive you completely mad. Loving someone is not enough. Dont get it twisted. If you feel its not for you, that absolutely fine. Keep an open mind tho, love has a way of smacking you upside the head when you least expect.
Lindodo are you sure this is not your story hmmm *sips tea
Dear Ude, kindly re-check your Bible. It is the man that is to leave his family and cleave to his wife so the two of them can be one- a new family
Don't be bad. We re stil out there....find us
@ Samuel Sleekz ........I like your comments. After watching my parents and almost everyone around me, i swore at 8yrs i will not get married. However, i bulked under preasure to fullfill the unsigned contract with Nigerian Society, i married the next guy that proposed, since then my life has taken a nose dive, it's been 16 years down the drain. You wont even believe the insults i have to put up with from him & his sisters. I had an averagely well paying job in the oil industry and had travelled half the world (on holidays)on business class, never spent a penny of my salary in all the years i worked, b'cos my foreign boyfriend took care of things. I now have 3 accounts in the red and if i didn't have a job, i would have begged for food. My sister, if you enter Nigerian marriage, you will soon find out that infidelity is a very secondary matter compared to some bullshit you have to endure. The biggest problem is Finance followed by third party (inlaws) they can give u some psycological truama that are worse than physical violence. These days women end up being the bread winner, & you thought he had a good job or business, they are always waiting for some job to materialize or some money they are owed, it's an endless story. You even end up paying back the ones they borrowed from other people when the embarassment is too much, yet you have to endure insults from lesser women they call their sisters and they make excuses for them & call you sensitive. Never mind the demonic siege you can come under. (story for another day) I am not saying i disapprove of marriage o, b'cos if you also don't do it, you might end up changing boy friends & at some point they might all get married. From this vantage position, i wish that we live a minimum of 120yrs and women were fertile in their 50's & 60's, b'cos this marriage thing would have been most appropriate from when women are 45 & above and men 50 & above. That's when i think most of us will really need, appreciate & respect each other. Again you must have established yourself in whatever you set out to do in life , not some Nigerian creep telling you to dump your dreams because you married them.
There's no such thing as a soul mate. Marriage should be worked on.
I was married and it was bad. Was it worth it? A THOUSAND TIMES YES. I grew up and found God.
Most times,parents force their daughter into danger,all in d quest to get married.
#skaler#
MARRIAGE NO BE FAIRY TALE OOO, IF U TINK SAY NA TELE MUNDO STORY NA LIE..LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH IN A MARRIAGE..DETERMINATION MATTERS..
My dear, life is Ğσσԃ, life is lovely, life is to be enjoyed. Take some time and ask urself some questions: ve I done my best in dis relationship? Am I really worth being a wife to him? Can I take care of him lyk my stubborn first son? Can I take care of my kids? If ur ansa to dis questions is yes, den marriage is worth it. Pls ve in mind dat marriage is interestn but pls neva u involve third party into it rather invite God. I wish 2 knw u personally. 2A2995F0 linda pass it to her. Remember says ur mama marry ur papa n dem born u, na im make she won make u too marry make u no bcum kezaya.
It is your life, if you don't want to get married then don't . Make sure you have children sha.
MARRIAGE NO BE FAIRY TALE OOO, IF U TINK SAY NA TELE MUNDO STORY NA LIE..LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH IN A MARRIAGE..DETERMINATION MATTERS..
It is worth it dear
i'll say its worth it but with the right person.. been married for a while now but the so called hubby has turned out to be a pathetic liar and cheat. just waiting on my kids to grow older b4 i dump his cheating ass.
i want to say this to doubting Thomas at home about marriage,God originated marriage,for you to get good marriage you must know the person that originated it,is the only one who can guide you alright,a guy can appear to be good while courting but turned to be viper after wedding but if you are on God side i mean if heaven recognize you as a daughter you will not go astray
i want to say this to doubting Thomas at home about marriage,God originated marriage,for you to get good marriage you must know the person that originated it,is the only one who can guide you alright,a guy can appear to be good while courting but turned to be viper after wedding but if you are on God side i mean if heaven recognize you as a daughter you will not go astray
Ok this is my take on the matter. Hello Nigerians (men and women) things have changed. (Please accept the changes) the world has become a global village. We are no longer in 'THOSE DAYS' old things have passed away everything has become new. Long story short, Linda, 'Marriage in the 21st century is no longer compulsory, it is no longer a do or die affair. Men please deal with that. Parents it is high time you begin to accept the change because the only permanent thing in life is #CHANGE'
Thank you.
Hi Linda, this is my first time here! MY opinion on this issue is that a lady old enough to get married must first pray to God and second, marry her best friend. If two people are into each other, nothing can come betwn them.And to answer your question, marriage is not for everybody!
Keep searching and if you're good men will find you.
When you find that one true person for u dear..only then will It worth it to u
And the man should also be loved.
No man is perfect or mr right,all you just have to do is drag the idiot from the left he is standing and throw him to the right*justjoking*anyway marriage is worth more••cant believe I am daydreaming about getting married and I don't have a boyfriend*sad* #GiftedDiva#281d27a4
lol..wake up and face reality cos if you keep having this novel like tots, na spirit go marry u ooh.
No man is perfect or right••all you have to do is take the idiot from the left and drag him to the right lobatan*justjoking*anyway marriage is worth much more•• Can't believe am daydreaming about getting married and I don't have a single boyfriend*chai*disris God#GiftedDiva#281d27a4
A lot dumber than fcuk!
On 2 the Next!
My family hasn't experienced any of the two.. They may have had their ruff times, but they have made it thru
Mumu answer, what message did u get across now?
Not all men cheat or are violent. I meet my wife a virgin and I have never cheated on her. I have never imagined raising my hand at her. There are still guys like me out there looking for good girls. Usually these breeds never find a way to ever cross paty
Sweetie, take your time. Marriage is God's plan for MEN, not BOYS...When you find a MAN who loves you and you can respect, who also loves God, pray n ask for signs and directions.I'm at this same stage n it may sound cliche but someone can love you for a lifetime. I wish us the best!
Marriage is worth it my dear and believe me u're not too young to marry.I married at 31 and I wish I was earlier. In looking for the right person, make yourself right too.there is no perfect marriage anywhere and your home is what you want it to be.
Forget what you see in the movie and read on papers or Internet. No two homes are the same.what works for me might not work for you dear.all you need is groom yourself, know God and don't be materialistic. Not all that glitters is gold.
Those men you see knows who marry them for money or material things and when you're in,they'll pay you back.
If he lies to somebody in your presence,he'll lie to you too(fact).
Marriage is sweet oooo
And women don't cheat? Goat!
Its worth it....nothing is perfect and nothing can give u uninterrupted everlasting happiness.....even u are not perfect....try it...but Pray for the right man 1st.
Marriage is worth it IF you're with the right person. Otherwise it can be HELL.
Marriage works if the man feels respected and the woman feels loved. I could write an essay on this.
Kimmy*****
The way I see this question is from a 6th sense. I think Linda is the one asking our opinion, as you know she turns 35 or so this week and so using a front to ask and answer at the same time. I'm just saying no proof but worth considering.
My husband is the best thing that has happened to me. No cheating, no beating, he has taught me how to love and how to receive love. He is a darling so marriage for me is wonderful, I thank God everyday for a partner to go through life with.
I don't care for friends, we are each other's best friends and with God, that's all we need. That's marriage: a union of two minds to live as one.
Kimmy*****
You are a bloody bastard you sexist, it's people like u that enslave women thinking it will inflate ur bastardic ego as a failure of a man, u are a huge disgrace to humanity, and I wonder why Linda will post such sexist comment..
I perfectly understand her point. I felt like that at some point and even two days ago when I had a huge quarrel with my fiancé. But at the end of the day we are humans and not an island , so yes marriage is worth it. Not all men are cheats and liars even tho the number is almost in extinction... You just have to find a man who you love and appreciate/vice versa, no one is perfect. With ur current state of mind, u would find it hard to see that man . So be more positive and open ur mind to welcome to unexpected
Marriage is certainly not for everybody. If you see yourself as a perfect woman that fits only a perfect man, then marriage cannot be for you because JESUS CHRIST is the only perfect MAN that has ever lived on the surface of this EARTH. Not all men cheat their wives, not all men beat their wives, not all men lie but all men and all women have have their individual SHORTCOMINGS. If you can't tolerate and you can't endure, then better don't marry.
ask yourself what your are made of 'ATTITUDE or CHARACTERE' in marriage, attitude make happy home but character strugle to.
It is so worth it!! For me going into marriage had me putting God first because trust me he is the one that knows the heart of each n everyone. Don't worry about other peoples marriages, ask God for yours because in this world that men and women do all sorts, there are still people that can genuinely boast of Happy marriages. People have happy, comfortable life's and you can be one of them.
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